A Touch of the 'Tism

The Song:
Somethings Missing: John Mayer
There is something so timeless about John Mayers sound.  He's got this soulful voice accompanied by wicked guitar skills.  Since he was 17, John Mayer has been inspired by the blues.  One of his many idols being Stevie Ray Vaughan - best known for his blue guitar playing.  John Mayer has collaborated with blues artists such as BB King, Buddy Guy, and Eric Clapton.  His first album Room For Squares went multi-platinum... and yet it's not glamorous.... it's comfortable... it's old jeans and a t-shirt kind of comfortable.  The perfect time to listen to Mayer, is all the time.

The Date:
A Touch of the 'Tism
It took a few dates for me to realize no good can ever come from meeting a man at a bar in or around DelCo.  I was accompanying a friend to a local Delaware County bar, she had just had a pretty terrible break up and we thought "Drinks on a Monday Night?  Why Not".  It was the beginning of football season so everyone was in their Eagles gear - including us.

After a few drinks, we started making nice with the group of people next to us.  One of the guys pulled me aside at one point and said "Hey, my boy has been trying to talk to you all night... you think you could give him some time".  OK NUMBER ONE, if "your boy" is around my age he should know the BIGGEST turn off is a man who won't (cause "can't" means "won't") make the first move and say hello to a girl.  When you NEED a wingman to do all your work, it's annoying and frankly now you're just wasting my time.  I'll just make out with the wingman.

So I humored him and we talked... I asked all the questions "What's your name, where are you from,  what do you do for a living, where did you go to High School, do you know so-n-so?"... the list goes on.  We'll leave names out, but he turned out to be a fitness trainer at a very reputable fitness club on the Mainline.  I was impressed.  He had a nice stature, a cute face I guess.  But there was something off... There was something missing.  We were in a bar and it was loud, but I heard him clearly.  I should have taken that as hint #2.  We would finish talking about a certain subject and he would just stare at me with this "hold on, I'm thinking" look and then start a completely new topic.  The weirdest thing is that he would only hold eye contact for 5 minutes or so and then it was like it was killing him so he had to look around.

Eventually he got my number - maybe it was the 5 or 6 miller lites or maybe I felt bad for him, the jury is still out on that one.  We chatted back and forth for maybe a day or two and then he asked me out to dinner that week.  I picked the place and we met at this cute little hole-in-the-wall Italian place near my house.  WELP, I found out very quickly that the reason I heard him loud and clear at the bar was b/c he is THE LOUDEST SPEAKER EVER.  People were staring... I actually had to give him the "shhhhh  you're pretty loud"... he just kept going.  Then... the twitch, he had a twitch.  He would say something and then finish the sentence like "aaahmmmm" and then breath really hard of his nose...WHAT THE FUCK!??!?!?!?!!??!!?

I quickly finished my dinner, and he asked if I wanted to watch the Eagles game with him at the bar down the street and I told him I had work really early the next morning but thank you so much for dinner.  I left and in watching him walk to his car - I saw his flood khaki pants about two sizes too small for him topped off with his white tube socks and black dress shoes.  Icing on cake.

I met some girlfriends at the bar I work at for a drink directly after this date.  I walked in, and they said "how'd it go?"  I said... "Well, I think he's Autistic".  Now I used to work with children with Autism as well as work for a charitable organization that funds research for kids living with Autism.  I've seen all sides of the spectrum and he was definitely smack in the middle of it.  A friend I used to work with refer's to this as having a "touch of the 'tism".

He texted a few times... but I couldn't answer back, I was still creeped out.  But what was I supposed to do, ask him "Hey are you Autistic?" yea that's romantic.