Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag

The Song:
If There's Love by: Citizen Cope
Anyone who knows me knows that Citizen Cope is probably one of my most favorite bands out there.  With the soulful Reggae beats or Clarence Greenwood's enchanting and almost angelic voice, Citizen Cope will always be one of those beer popping bands - what does that mean?  It means you can put on any of Cope's albums (especially the newly released The Rainwater LP) and every song makes you want to sit outside on a warm day and crack open a beer and just chill.....  His lyrics are almost reminiscent of Bob Marley, man in protest and many to raise awareness of what's going on in the world.

But I choose this song b/c it just has the most simplest message to live life by.... "If there's love, I just wanna have something to do with it...."  Words to live by.

The Date:
Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag
SOOO it's no surprise to my friends that I apparently carry a sign on my ass that says "If you're married, please park here".  I've actually dated a few men who later I found out, WERE MARRIED!  I guess the one that took the cake had to be someone I already knew!  I recently met back up with a friend from childhood.  We'd been friends actually most of our lives but lost touch.  So we see each other and turns out he had had a baby a year earlier.  Now at my age, it's not surprising to date a man with a child from a previous relationship.  So he said it was a long story but he loves his daughter but is not really into the mother.... and his FB status read single LOUD AND CLEAR.

After a few weeks of chatting, we went out... we had a blast, it was like we hadn't stopped talking for all those years.  Well on our fifth-ish date we were out to dinner and half way through he gets a call from what says "Home" on his cell.  I found that weird since he had expressed to me he "just bought a house" by himself.  So, he ignored it and about five minutes later another call, and then another two minutes after that.  Finally I thought to myself "maybe home is his parents house" so I said "Go ahead and get it don't worry".

So he picks up the call and it went something like this "Hey... No i'm.... No.... Oh shit... ok well I can swing by CVS... I"m with a friend... I... no never-mind I'll be right there."  He stood up, laid down a $50 bill and said "I'm sorry, I have to go my daughter is running a fever and my girl is really nervous".  I said "Um you're girl?"  He said "Well the babies mother lives with me....."

I stood up and as loud as I possibly could say without looking like I was screaming... I looked him up and down and said "Hmm that's weird, I thought I saw balls last night when you were standing naked in my room.  Welp have a nice evening with your girlfriend and daughter."  I pocketed the $50 and told our waiter on the way out that the guy standing at the table with his jaw on the floor was paying for our dinner and the table next to us.

I think I got about 23 calls that night "we can work this out, there's got to be a way to figure it out...." and I said to him finally "Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag.... lose my number".

Word to the wise - if he never comes out and says "I'm single", you better ask!