He reminds me of a loser....

The Song:
Little Secrets: Passion Pit
This has to be one of the coolest songs I've heard in a long time.  It's one of those Car Dance Songs.  You put it on when it's great weather outside and the sun is blaring and there's a nice breeze and you just wanna jam.  Passion Pit is a recent find, thanks to my friend Erin.  All the members of this band, minus one, went to Berklee College of Music in Boston.  The group started when lead vocalist/keyboardist had written, sang/ recorded a compilation of songs on his laptop for a Valentines Day present for his girlfriend.  He then was encouraged to perform at a solo show of these songs.  After he was approached by one of the soon to be band members and thus began Passion Pit.  This song Little Secrets is just an all around feel good song. I don't usually go for electronica/pop, but they seem to put this great dance beat behind every song... it's almost like a pyramid... start with the back beat, then add a little keyboard, a few childrens voices singing in the background, then a vocal melody accompanied by a three part harmony (of couse sung by one person put in by technology) and it's just funky!

The Date:
He Reminds Me of A Loser....
This is a short one b/c well... I made it short and sweet on the date.

I met this guy on eHarmony (one of the not so good matches).  He was nice, and seemed really sweet.  Now if you know me you know I like the big guys.  I love guys that are tall and stocky and look like they could play Line for the 49'ers.  Well he definitely fit that profile in his pictures online.  We talked on the phone a few times and then he asked me to meet him at a bar in Bryn Mawr.

I walked in and it was packed... I looked around and didn't see him.  Well then he screamed my name and looked right at me... ummm it couldn't be the same guy, he was about 6 foot and like 175 pounds.  Ok clearly he has some old pictures up online which is the NUMBER ONE offense in online dating!

So I bit the bullet and sat down and we had dinner.  We got to talking, still... a nice guy.  But then I notice every waitress that walks by and some of the customers too keep saying hi to him.  Not just a friendly hello, like a legitimate "hey ::insert name here:: how are you? "  I thought ok maybe he went to school or something around here... nope I found out later... no school.

I excused myself to the bathroom quickly, I saw one of the waitresses in there that had actually stood at our table and had a conversation with my date.  I asked her... I just had to... "Can I ask you how you know they gentleman I'm having dinner with?"  She BURST out laughing and said "Well... just like everyone else knows him.... he's  one of the day/night regulars.  He's here 24/7, I'm surprised he drove here.  Usually he takes the bus or a cab so he doesn't have to worry about any more DUI's".  I said... "ok thanks can you do me a favor... can you tell him I got sick in the bathroom and had to leave?"  She said "ha sure thing, you think you're the first date that's asked that and then bailed?  Why don't you go out the side door that right when you walk out of the bathroom?"  So I BOLTED.

I felt so bad, but me being 1/2 Irish Catholic DelCo... I was NOT about to insert another alcoholic loser in to my life.  I made a game time decision.  Manute would've been proud, I dodged the ball on that one. He called a few times and finally I felt so bad that I answered.  I had to tell him what happened.  He said he understood my concern but that he didn't have a drinking problem, he just liked hanging out in the bar.  STILL NOT OK!

Yet another date that confirmed my love for singularity... for now.

I Met Him In Manayunk......

The Song:

Monstar by Usher (new CD Raymond vs. Raymond)

I have always been a huge fan of Usher.  I think anyone that aspires to follow in the footsteps of Michael Jackson is on the right track.  That boy can dance AND sing.  What I like about his music is that he honestly sings about his life and his feelings - whether it be about sex or love or relationships... it's not all about Alcohol and Bitches.  It's truthful.  I also love how he'll start most songs off slow and monotone and then bring it to such an intense level with haunting melodies or electronica vocals singing hooks, or my favorite when he just makes those octave jumps without skipping a beat.  I'd love to be a fly on the wall in one of his recording sessions.

The Date:

I Met Him In Manayunk

I've heard that one of the best ways to meet a man is at a Bachelorette Party.... I didn't understand until I went to one.  It's not because you're in a huge crowd of ladies covered with pink feathers and glitter and probably somebody is wearing something animal print (which I am total for), or because you're dressed like a $4 hooker.... it's b/c of the nemesis of my early 20's... VODKA.  There is so much Vodka thrown at you when you're part of a bachelorette party - shots, fancy drinks, the works.  With Vodka comes happy me, with happy me comes horny me, and with horny me comes My Big Vodka Balls.  I will say ANYTHING.  

I went out for a co-workers bachelorette party one lovely September evening.  I had on my lucky cleavage shirt (aka everything I own to go out in) and I was ready to go.  I should have known when I walked out of the bar's emergency exit with my Bubble Gum Vodka/Lemonade/Splash of Cranberry drink in hand that I was in for a treat.  We walked down the street to a bar where we could dance.  Who is standing outside of the bar.... The Meanest Most Awful Ex Ever (who's name will remain removed from this blog always).  Of course he was there, he's everywhere!  I think that put even more of a reason in to my conquest for ass that night.  We were dancing like crazy... all over the place.  But I didn't see any prospects... I wasn't interested... so I said to my friend Genna, "Listen I'm going to the bathroom and then we can head out if you want".  On my way back from the bathroom I was texting (shocking I know) and BAM... Ow someone just walked right in to me... or did I walk in to them?  All I said was "Excuse you!"... and then I looked up.  He was shorter... with these beautiful warm brown eyes.  The conversation was short, he leaned in to kiss me and I told him I don't kiss someone I've just met... and then I thought about my life for a minute.  HA!  I turned to Genna and said "pssssht who am I kidding"... and then I kissed him.  We exchanged numbers and I left.  

We texted for a while and finally he asked me out.   Just a few hours before our date, he text messaged me asking what I was looking for because he'd just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious.  Now, part of me was thankful for honesty and hopefully innocent forwardness.  But mostly I was annoyed with his behavior - relax buddy I haven't even seen your wenis yet and you wanna have the "where's this going conversation"?  I told him to relax and lets just go with the flow... oh foreshadowing, oh symbolism.

We decided to meet at a bar in the Manayunk called The Ugly Moose.  It's a very hipster laid back kind of situation.  We had several of whatever "Oktoberfest" brew's were on tap, in a 22oz glasses mind you.  We kept drinking and talking, talking about life and lovers and college and everything.  It was great.  We laughed a lot.  And we stared, at each other... a lot.  We sat at the bar, our barstools started the night next to each other, side by side.  Then before I knew it we were sitting facing each other, his legs spread open and my legs fit right in between.  When the conversation stopped, he brushed my hair behind my ear.  He looked at me and said "I like you...".  I didn't know if I liked him or not but there was definitely some sexual tension.  Then we were kissing each other, and not just the sweet innocent "I'm on the first date" kiss.  We were that gross couple making out in the bar.  We were the couple I always have to wait on at the bar I work at - I refer to them  as "The Makeout Twins".  He told me I should probably just stay at his place since it was late and we had been drinking.  At that point I thought "If nothing else this kid could be some great sex and well that's about it".  I suggested we do a shot before we leave... liquid courage.  Ummm but I then said "black house?" Oh I'm sorry am I 20 again?

We left the bar and it.... went... down.  We stopped about every 10 steps on the walk to his place just to make out.  Lets just say it was a looooong very well deserved night with no sleep.  

I got up the next morning feeling so refreshed and amazing - maybe it's because I'd had several mind blowing orgasms the night before.  

Well we talked off and on and saw each other a few more times.  And he was a really nice guy.... but I don't think he believed me when I said "I dont want a boyfriend".  I think men get easily confused by casual dating and F buddies.  An F buddy is someone you call strictly for sex.  But if you invite a girl out for drinks and such, and you two sleep together.... you are casually seeing someone.  GET OVER IT.   There shouldn't have to be a disclaimer stating "Warning: Just because she asks you to dinner or for a drink doesn't mean she wants to marry you.  WARNING!".  Well apparently, he needed the disclaimer.  I suggested things - he shot me down.  His behavior was random and erratic, yet I was the "crazy" one.  So we eventually stopped "hanging out'.  We still talk here and there... go figure he has a girlfriend now.  Hey, to each his own.  

Sweet Disposition

The Song:
Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap
"Hey, wanna hear some good tunes?  Download Temper Trap's new album Conditions"  was a facebook IM I received from a friend one day and thus my love for The Temper Trap was born.  Great harmonies, with a male on lead vocals who DOESN'T sound like he just got slamed in the lower parts when he tries to hit the high notes.  Dougy Mandagi's got a rich sound in his voice, with just a hint of that hipster weirdo-ness we all have come to love.


The Date:
Sweet Disposition
This is actually a date I had a really good time on!  I went through a stint of online dating.  It wasn't working, then it was working... then I was bored.  I met a guy, whose name will be kept anonymous  but lets say it rhymes with, Clark.  


Our first date was at Duffer's on 352, and we were there for HOURS.  We talked and laughed and he just had such a sweet and warm disposition.  I couldn't pin point it but I knew he was going to be someone special in my life.  I didn't let him kiss me that night... and he never let me forget it.  We kept talking and hanging out, we actually decided that we didn't want to be exclusive.  We had both been in relationSHITs prior to this and wanted to see what was out there for a while.  We kept in touch through the beginning of the fall.  


I was out  having a girls night at a friends house, we were drinking a ton of wine and some how that turned in to doing line dances in the living room... but I digress. We were having a girls night and all the sudden I got a text from "Clark".  It was rather cryptic, "Are you around?".  I went outside and called and he picked up after the first ring... "Meg, do you think you could come over?  I had a really awful night and I just wanted to talk.  If not that's ok I don't want to interrupt your night."  I said give me an hour or so and I'll be over.  I apologized to the girls, but he had sounded rather troubled.  I know I'd do the same for any friend.


I went over and we sat in his living room.  He poured me a drink and he had a beer.  I asked what had happened.  He was at a Happy Hour with some people from high school.  A few girls were there that had pretty much made his life miserable in earlier years.  True to Mean Girl form, they didn't let a little thing like maturity stop them from making fun of him again.  His feelings were a bit bruised but it was more the fact that he didn't understand how two people over the age of 25, who had college degrees and jobs could act they way they did.  All I could say was, "It's not all people, it's Mean Girls, and they never change.  It has nothing to do with you."  He said "well I guess I never thought about it that way, they're just picking on the so called 'weakest link' to make themselves feel better about their lives in which they clearly aren't happy about".... I said "umm sure ok yea that's what i meant".  We laughed and just kept talking.


Then came the awkward part, it was getting on to be about 2am and I was either getting laid or going home.  But it was different this time, I didn't think of it so Down and Dirty... I kinda cared about him.  So I asked him if he'd mind if I stayed here cause it was pretty late.  Of course he jumped on the opportunity... "Oh no no that's fine" but then this.... "I can sleep on the couch".  I laughed and said.... "Not necessary...."


Hands Down... best sex I've ever had.  I guess it goes to show you that it's not always the wild and crazy sex thats that hottest... sometimes its the sweet sex that makes all the waiting worth while.

A Touch of the 'Tism

The Song:
Somethings Missing: John Mayer
There is something so timeless about John Mayers sound.  He's got this soulful voice accompanied by wicked guitar skills.  Since he was 17, John Mayer has been inspired by the blues.  One of his many idols being Stevie Ray Vaughan - best known for his blue guitar playing.  John Mayer has collaborated with blues artists such as BB King, Buddy Guy, and Eric Clapton.  His first album Room For Squares went multi-platinum... and yet it's not glamorous.... it's comfortable... it's old jeans and a t-shirt kind of comfortable.  The perfect time to listen to Mayer, is all the time.

The Date:
A Touch of the 'Tism
It took a few dates for me to realize no good can ever come from meeting a man at a bar in or around DelCo.  I was accompanying a friend to a local Delaware County bar, she had just had a pretty terrible break up and we thought "Drinks on a Monday Night?  Why Not".  It was the beginning of football season so everyone was in their Eagles gear - including us.

After a few drinks, we started making nice with the group of people next to us.  One of the guys pulled me aside at one point and said "Hey, my boy has been trying to talk to you all night... you think you could give him some time".  OK NUMBER ONE, if "your boy" is around my age he should know the BIGGEST turn off is a man who won't (cause "can't" means "won't") make the first move and say hello to a girl.  When you NEED a wingman to do all your work, it's annoying and frankly now you're just wasting my time.  I'll just make out with the wingman.

So I humored him and we talked... I asked all the questions "What's your name, where are you from,  what do you do for a living, where did you go to High School, do you know so-n-so?"... the list goes on.  We'll leave names out, but he turned out to be a fitness trainer at a very reputable fitness club on the Mainline.  I was impressed.  He had a nice stature, a cute face I guess.  But there was something off... There was something missing.  We were in a bar and it was loud, but I heard him clearly.  I should have taken that as hint #2.  We would finish talking about a certain subject and he would just stare at me with this "hold on, I'm thinking" look and then start a completely new topic.  The weirdest thing is that he would only hold eye contact for 5 minutes or so and then it was like it was killing him so he had to look around.

Eventually he got my number - maybe it was the 5 or 6 miller lites or maybe I felt bad for him, the jury is still out on that one.  We chatted back and forth for maybe a day or two and then he asked me out to dinner that week.  I picked the place and we met at this cute little hole-in-the-wall Italian place near my house.  WELP, I found out very quickly that the reason I heard him loud and clear at the bar was b/c he is THE LOUDEST SPEAKER EVER.  People were staring... I actually had to give him the "shhhhh  you're pretty loud"... he just kept going.  Then... the twitch, he had a twitch.  He would say something and then finish the sentence like "aaahmmmm" and then breath really hard of his nose...WHAT THE FUCK!??!?!?!?!!??!!?

I quickly finished my dinner, and he asked if I wanted to watch the Eagles game with him at the bar down the street and I told him I had work really early the next morning but thank you so much for dinner.  I left and in watching him walk to his car - I saw his flood khaki pants about two sizes too small for him topped off with his white tube socks and black dress shoes.  Icing on cake.

I met some girlfriends at the bar I work at for a drink directly after this date.  I walked in, and they said "how'd it go?"  I said... "Well, I think he's Autistic".  Now I used to work with children with Autism as well as work for a charitable organization that funds research for kids living with Autism.  I've seen all sides of the spectrum and he was definitely smack in the middle of it.  A friend I used to work with refer's to this as having a "touch of the 'tism".

He texted a few times... but I couldn't answer back, I was still creeped out.  But what was I supposed to do, ask him "Hey are you Autistic?" yea that's romantic.

Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag

The Song:
If There's Love by: Citizen Cope
Anyone who knows me knows that Citizen Cope is probably one of my most favorite bands out there.  With the soulful Reggae beats or Clarence Greenwood's enchanting and almost angelic voice, Citizen Cope will always be one of those beer popping bands - what does that mean?  It means you can put on any of Cope's albums (especially the newly released The Rainwater LP) and every song makes you want to sit outside on a warm day and crack open a beer and just chill.....  His lyrics are almost reminiscent of Bob Marley, man in protest and many to raise awareness of what's going on in the world.

But I choose this song b/c it just has the most simplest message to live life by.... "If there's love, I just wanna have something to do with it...."  Words to live by.

The Date:
Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag
SOOO it's no surprise to my friends that I apparently carry a sign on my ass that says "If you're married, please park here".  I've actually dated a few men who later I found out, WERE MARRIED!  I guess the one that took the cake had to be someone I already knew!  I recently met back up with a friend from childhood.  We'd been friends actually most of our lives but lost touch.  So we see each other and turns out he had had a baby a year earlier.  Now at my age, it's not surprising to date a man with a child from a previous relationship.  So he said it was a long story but he loves his daughter but is not really into the mother.... and his FB status read single LOUD AND CLEAR.

After a few weeks of chatting, we went out... we had a blast, it was like we hadn't stopped talking for all those years.  Well on our fifth-ish date we were out to dinner and half way through he gets a call from what says "Home" on his cell.  I found that weird since he had expressed to me he "just bought a house" by himself.  So, he ignored it and about five minutes later another call, and then another two minutes after that.  Finally I thought to myself "maybe home is his parents house" so I said "Go ahead and get it don't worry".

So he picks up the call and it went something like this "Hey... No i'm.... No.... Oh shit... ok well I can swing by CVS... I"m with a friend... I... no never-mind I'll be right there."  He stood up, laid down a $50 bill and said "I'm sorry, I have to go my daughter is running a fever and my girl is really nervous".  I said "Um you're girl?"  He said "Well the babies mother lives with me....."

I stood up and as loud as I possibly could say without looking like I was screaming... I looked him up and down and said "Hmm that's weird, I thought I saw balls last night when you were standing naked in my room.  Welp have a nice evening with your girlfriend and daughter."  I pocketed the $50 and told our waiter on the way out that the guy standing at the table with his jaw on the floor was paying for our dinner and the table next to us.

I think I got about 23 calls that night "we can work this out, there's got to be a way to figure it out...." and I said to him finally "Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag.... lose my number".

Word to the wise - if he never comes out and says "I'm single", you better ask!

Congratulations, you're a loser.

The Song: 
Champion by Kanye West
Say what you will about Kanye - but if we all started basing our opinions about musicans on how they live their lives and carry themselves in public - I think all we'd have left are Michael Bolton and Sade.  Kanye is truly a lyricist - there's always a story to be told there.  His beats are unique for our time, yet he finds a great way to incorporate old school like an instrumental break by a Brass Horn section in his "Touch the Sky" - or the Kid Charlamagne by Steely Dan inspired song "Champion" from his album Graduation.  Sampling beats has become an art of it's own and it's no longer a negative option in the Hip Hop nation.  Kanye does it with class... most of the time :)




The Date: 
"Congratulations, you're a loser"
Today's blog comes from Melissa.  Thanks for the great story, Champ!

"I was the ultimate single girl for most of my life not having a "real" boyfriend till I was 23.  On that note, my friends loved setting me up and I am the adventurous type when it comes to my love life so I was always game. So when my Ivy League friend decided he thought that his friend and I should go on a date I was psyched...I already pictured my future as a trophy wife of some genius.  


We had a few phone calls before the big set up and things were off to a great start.  We had a lot in common and he made me laugh which to me, is the most important factor when going on a first date. We decided on a safe date of putt-putt. He then begins to tell me how he never lost at putt-putt and he is very skilled. I tell him I have no skills and don't think I ever won a game so he can show me some of his "skills." 


When he arrives he actually comes to the door and opens his car door!  He was cute in the nerdy red haired kid way that I adore. Everything looked good so far...no lull in the conversation. We made a bet that whoever wins has to buy the other one water ice. He made the bet that the winner has to buy assuming he would win.  


We start to play the game and for whatever reason I am hitting this damn ball so well and him..... not so well. I actually won the game. I was super excited because I never win anything and to beat a so called "expert" added to the fun.  However, I should of known better never beat a man at anything!  He became very bitter and couldn't get over the fact that he was beat by someone who was a self -proclaimed putt-putt loser. 


I couldn't help but think "really, man, this is PUTT-PUTT!"  I tried to buy the water ice because that was the deal and he wouldn't have any of it claiming his "ego was already bruised". Was I on a date with someone from the 1920's? 


Needless to say we never went out after that. My friend who did the setting up told me later he really believed it was because I won.  Well if that is the case I'm glad I won or I would be a trophy wife of some guy was intimidated by strong successful women...By the way I kept the score card for years because I am the CHAMP!"

Lady Gaga and the Drunken Docta

The Song:
Telephone by Lady Gaga
Does she really need an introduction? I mean, who doesn't love themselves some Lady Gaga?!

The Date:
Note to Self: Never go on a date again with a guy who follows you to your car (which was parked in an alley downtown) to ask you out.

So with that being said, the worst I figured that could come out meeting a complete stranger for a date would be a funny story - but at this point I think I have a stage 5 clinger on my hands!! So my date looked like a cross between Lou Diamond Phillips and Colin Farrell - he was also a doctor who lived in Rittenhouse (jackpot right!?)...so we head to Tria on a Sunday where Doc tells me he can only stay for a bit and not really drink because he had cases to read over. Fine with me, esp on a first date..you should always have an escape out of there incase it's horrible. So about 2 hours and 9 belgium beers later (for Doc, not me) I decided it was time to go - Doc started to get loud, his eyes were half closed, and basically spitting all over himself. I quietly ask for the check which then leads Drunk Doc (as we'll now call him) into even more of a fit. I told him if he wants to stay here that's fine but I am out of here...he pays, walks me (well he stumbled) to the car, and I make it home from the city in record time while never looking back. This date was in the beginning of May - he has since called my phone 19 times and has left 17 voicemails. I have yet to return one call! So I'm kind of wondering how someone who graduates from med school can't pick up on the hint that "Im kinda busy, k-kinda busy"
So if your ever downtown and you see a Lou Diamond Philips/Colin Farrell look alike creepin around - can you give him the memo that I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Adventures of Single Philadelphian Women and Their Music

So....

It has come to my attention that in the world of singularity.... sometimes the only thing that gets you through the bad, awful and terribly horrible no good very bad DATES... is good music.

If there is one thing Single Philadelphian Women do the most, it's have drinks (coffee or a more adult beverage) while discussing last nights bad date and the song you heard on the radio this morning.

So here goes.... everyday my friends and I hope to bring you a good song and story of a bad date. Enjoy.

The Song:

Lazy Eye by Silver Sun Pickups

Silver Sun Pickups have really blown up the Philly music scene... they're Radio 104.5's feature band at the summer music festival this month. I love the intensity they bring to such common cords within the alternative music genre.

The Date:

Speaking of Lazy Eye - about two years ago, I met a guy at Mad River in the city. We went out on ONE date, I didn't realize with my beer goggles on that he had a wicked lazy eye. NOW, I wouldn't mind it if I didn't have such a problem staring at it. I was bobbin and weavin all night trying to escape it. Needless to say he's engaged now, I think she's blind... he lucked out.