Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag

The Song:
If There's Love by: Citizen Cope
Anyone who knows me knows that Citizen Cope is probably one of my most favorite bands out there.  With the soulful Reggae beats or Clarence Greenwood's enchanting and almost angelic voice, Citizen Cope will always be one of those beer popping bands - what does that mean?  It means you can put on any of Cope's albums (especially the newly released The Rainwater LP) and every song makes you want to sit outside on a warm day and crack open a beer and just chill.....  His lyrics are almost reminiscent of Bob Marley, man in protest and many to raise awareness of what's going on in the world.

But I choose this song b/c it just has the most simplest message to live life by.... "If there's love, I just wanna have something to do with it...."  Words to live by.

The Date:
Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag
SOOO it's no surprise to my friends that I apparently carry a sign on my ass that says "If you're married, please park here".  I've actually dated a few men who later I found out, WERE MARRIED!  I guess the one that took the cake had to be someone I already knew!  I recently met back up with a friend from childhood.  We'd been friends actually most of our lives but lost touch.  So we see each other and turns out he had had a baby a year earlier.  Now at my age, it's not surprising to date a man with a child from a previous relationship.  So he said it was a long story but he loves his daughter but is not really into the mother.... and his FB status read single LOUD AND CLEAR.

After a few weeks of chatting, we went out... we had a blast, it was like we hadn't stopped talking for all those years.  Well on our fifth-ish date we were out to dinner and half way through he gets a call from what says "Home" on his cell.  I found that weird since he had expressed to me he "just bought a house" by himself.  So, he ignored it and about five minutes later another call, and then another two minutes after that.  Finally I thought to myself "maybe home is his parents house" so I said "Go ahead and get it don't worry".

So he picks up the call and it went something like this "Hey... No i'm.... No.... Oh shit... ok well I can swing by CVS... I"m with a friend... I... no never-mind I'll be right there."  He stood up, laid down a $50 bill and said "I'm sorry, I have to go my daughter is running a fever and my girl is really nervous".  I said "Um you're girl?"  He said "Well the babies mother lives with me....."

I stood up and as loud as I possibly could say without looking like I was screaming... I looked him up and down and said "Hmm that's weird, I thought I saw balls last night when you were standing naked in my room.  Welp have a nice evening with your girlfriend and daughter."  I pocketed the $50 and told our waiter on the way out that the guy standing at the table with his jaw on the floor was paying for our dinner and the table next to us.

I think I got about 23 calls that night "we can work this out, there's got to be a way to figure it out...." and I said to him finally "Once, Twice, Three times a douche bag.... lose my number".

Word to the wise - if he never comes out and says "I'm single", you better ask!

Congratulations, you're a loser.

The Song: 
Champion by Kanye West
Say what you will about Kanye - but if we all started basing our opinions about musicans on how they live their lives and carry themselves in public - I think all we'd have left are Michael Bolton and Sade.  Kanye is truly a lyricist - there's always a story to be told there.  His beats are unique for our time, yet he finds a great way to incorporate old school like an instrumental break by a Brass Horn section in his "Touch the Sky" - or the Kid Charlamagne by Steely Dan inspired song "Champion" from his album Graduation.  Sampling beats has become an art of it's own and it's no longer a negative option in the Hip Hop nation.  Kanye does it with class... most of the time :)




The Date: 
"Congratulations, you're a loser"
Today's blog comes from Melissa.  Thanks for the great story, Champ!

"I was the ultimate single girl for most of my life not having a "real" boyfriend till I was 23.  On that note, my friends loved setting me up and I am the adventurous type when it comes to my love life so I was always game. So when my Ivy League friend decided he thought that his friend and I should go on a date I was psyched...I already pictured my future as a trophy wife of some genius.  


We had a few phone calls before the big set up and things were off to a great start.  We had a lot in common and he made me laugh which to me, is the most important factor when going on a first date. We decided on a safe date of putt-putt. He then begins to tell me how he never lost at putt-putt and he is very skilled. I tell him I have no skills and don't think I ever won a game so he can show me some of his "skills." 


When he arrives he actually comes to the door and opens his car door!  He was cute in the nerdy red haired kid way that I adore. Everything looked good so far...no lull in the conversation. We made a bet that whoever wins has to buy the other one water ice. He made the bet that the winner has to buy assuming he would win.  


We start to play the game and for whatever reason I am hitting this damn ball so well and him..... not so well. I actually won the game. I was super excited because I never win anything and to beat a so called "expert" added to the fun.  However, I should of known better never beat a man at anything!  He became very bitter and couldn't get over the fact that he was beat by someone who was a self -proclaimed putt-putt loser. 


I couldn't help but think "really, man, this is PUTT-PUTT!"  I tried to buy the water ice because that was the deal and he wouldn't have any of it claiming his "ego was already bruised". Was I on a date with someone from the 1920's? 


Needless to say we never went out after that. My friend who did the setting up told me later he really believed it was because I won.  Well if that is the case I'm glad I won or I would be a trophy wife of some guy was intimidated by strong successful women...By the way I kept the score card for years because I am the CHAMP!"

Lady Gaga and the Drunken Docta

The Song:
Telephone by Lady Gaga
Does she really need an introduction? I mean, who doesn't love themselves some Lady Gaga?!

The Date:
Note to Self: Never go on a date again with a guy who follows you to your car (which was parked in an alley downtown) to ask you out.

So with that being said, the worst I figured that could come out meeting a complete stranger for a date would be a funny story - but at this point I think I have a stage 5 clinger on my hands!! So my date looked like a cross between Lou Diamond Phillips and Colin Farrell - he was also a doctor who lived in Rittenhouse (jackpot right!?)...so we head to Tria on a Sunday where Doc tells me he can only stay for a bit and not really drink because he had cases to read over. Fine with me, esp on a first date..you should always have an escape out of there incase it's horrible. So about 2 hours and 9 belgium beers later (for Doc, not me) I decided it was time to go - Doc started to get loud, his eyes were half closed, and basically spitting all over himself. I quietly ask for the check which then leads Drunk Doc (as we'll now call him) into even more of a fit. I told him if he wants to stay here that's fine but I am out of here...he pays, walks me (well he stumbled) to the car, and I make it home from the city in record time while never looking back. This date was in the beginning of May - he has since called my phone 19 times and has left 17 voicemails. I have yet to return one call! So I'm kind of wondering how someone who graduates from med school can't pick up on the hint that "Im kinda busy, k-kinda busy"
So if your ever downtown and you see a Lou Diamond Philips/Colin Farrell look alike creepin around - can you give him the memo that I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Adventures of Single Philadelphian Women and Their Music

So....

It has come to my attention that in the world of singularity.... sometimes the only thing that gets you through the bad, awful and terribly horrible no good very bad DATES... is good music.

If there is one thing Single Philadelphian Women do the most, it's have drinks (coffee or a more adult beverage) while discussing last nights bad date and the song you heard on the radio this morning.

So here goes.... everyday my friends and I hope to bring you a good song and story of a bad date. Enjoy.

The Song:

Lazy Eye by Silver Sun Pickups

Silver Sun Pickups have really blown up the Philly music scene... they're Radio 104.5's feature band at the summer music festival this month. I love the intensity they bring to such common cords within the alternative music genre.

The Date:

Speaking of Lazy Eye - about two years ago, I met a guy at Mad River in the city. We went out on ONE date, I didn't realize with my beer goggles on that he had a wicked lazy eye. NOW, I wouldn't mind it if I didn't have such a problem staring at it. I was bobbin and weavin all night trying to escape it. Needless to say he's engaged now, I think she's blind... he lucked out.